[ sasha holds himself back a lot. he likes solitude as much as the next person, in measured quantities, but so much of him is a product of shyness. too shy to let people too close, to give too much of himself away (even though he would, he would give all of himself away if given half the chance). he's quick to feel, a constant bundle of thoughts and emotions that he firmly buries beneath a quiet, gentle surface.
he blushes. as it happens, he blushes almost constantly. if he isn't sunburnt, then he's blushing. there's always a reason to. his cheeks are perpetually rosy. these are the things he can give away, the surface details. that he is timid and easily flustered. harder to pick out are things like his love for holding hands, his general tactility. things he does not allow to be the forefront of his character, things that need to be dug out and discovered. not that any of these finer details matter, right now, though the cool of jens' palm is still a lingering presence against his own. he remembers touch like he remembers smells, colours, with perfect clarity. ]
You're more or less the only person who's ever said that. Most people just ask what kind of a name "Sasha" is for a man. [ he pauses, breathing in a little quickly. ] But — thank you.
[ for a moment, he's quite lost to the thought of a handsome stranger telling him that his name is pretty, before his brain kicks back into gear. ]
Uh, my computer. Just... here. [ and he flits away to a nearby coffee table, pulling his laptop open and punching in his password with the kind of speed that suggests his life depends on it. within moments he's by the window, a safe distance, gesturing limply at the laptop. ] All yours.
[ jens, on the other hand, doesn't hold much back at all. or at least he makes it seem like he's got nothing to hold back. of course, there are things he chooses to keep to himself in order to avoid complications (like yes, he has killed people before), other things that he's obligated to keep to himself (like what he is and what he does for a slightly less than honest living), but what he has to share is shared openly and fully. it works well for him, most of the time. it means people are drawn to him, want to trust him. and, hell, he's not denying that that's a good feeling, even if it's not completely warranted. he's never actually gotten himself into a serious relationship, but he's had a good number of mutually beneficial encounters, so he can't really complain.
the blush on sasha's cheeks feels like a success, and even if he knew that blushing is just second-nature for sasha, he'd probably still be patting himself on his back. it means he's done something right, and that's all he can hope for in a situation like this. the flirtation might have been a bit of a risk, but it seems to have gone over well. he'd hate to think he was getting under sasha's skin in a bad way. he's sweet, cautious, and jens has probably caused enough difficulty for him tonight.
still, he's not in a terrible rush to leave. ]
You're welcome. [ he laughs. ] What is it with people and getting bent out of shape about names? Everyone hates how mine is spelled. J-e-n-s. [ he offers a shrug, lips puckered in exaggerated frustration.
jens watches as sasha fiddles with the laptop, obviously hurried, then decides that he shouldn't be going anywhere in these boots. he bends and unties them, toeing them off and dropping them along with his bag next to the door. then he invites himself further into the apartment in socked feet that won't leave treads on the floor. he can't help but notice the way sasha retreats, and smiles to himself as he perches on the edge of the couch in front of the laptop. ]
Thanks. [ he pulls up the browser and googles a map. his eyes lift from the screen and find sasha again after a moment or two, sorry he feels he has to isolate himself, standing awkwardly in his own apartment. ] I'm terrible at accents, but you're not from Spain, are you?
[ sasha is like a book with a lock on it. his cover says a lot, the blurb gives away half the plot but you still won't get the whole story. not until you pick the lock — or become the key. ]
I like interesting names, [ he breathes out softly, honestly and unthinkingly. ] Jens has a handsome sound to it.
[ well, it does. that nordic, european feeling of y sounds that are in fact spelt with a j. sasha is immediately glad for the low lighting of his apartment, because his blush deepens somewhat fiercely. he stands quite still, all his nervous energy locked up in his stuttering heart and his darting eyes, none of it translating to fidgets and squirms. he's the deer in headlights type; the kind that hopes his stillness will allow him to go unnoticed.
he tries not think about how his friends would kill him if they knew what he was doing right now, letting unknown people into his apartment and use his computer. he tries not to think about how his parents would kill him five times over for it, like he isn't an adult, like he isn't to be trusted with his own decisions. which, admittedly, perhaps he shouldn't be, all things considered. (his parents would kill him for a lot of things, really; like the way he can't stop looking at a stray strand of jens' hair and wishes he could reach out and tuck it away.) ]
The accent still gives it away. [ a soft, faraway laugh. his international school english always gives him away a bit, soft intonations of european mixed with american vowels. ] I've lived in Spain most of my life, but my family's Russian.
[ cautiously, but not without a ghost of a smile, ] What about you? I mean, Spanish wasn't quite your strong point over the intercom, if you don't mind my saying.
[ a handsome sound to it. he'll take that, especially if it means that light flirting was not put to waste. jens can tell that sasha may not be feeling particularly confident about the conversation but, fortunately for sasha, the full flush of his cheeks goes mostly unnoticed. ]
Glad someone likes it. Besides me. [ he flashes a white-toothed grin, pleased. he supposes his parents must have been fond of the name when they'd given it to him, but they'd scarcely been around to even call him by it. his grandfather was always grumbling it, its shape lost in his gummy mouth, and his brother was always dragging it out, long and high-pitched when he whined about teasing or sleep-talked. still, and perhaps a little surprisingly, jens likes it.
he's gotten the map to pinpoint their location, but his gaze is drawn from the screen again when sasha laughs, eyes going soft. he almost sounds disenchanted by the realization. ] Russian. Right. [ he taps a finger against his temple. he probably should have known that. ]
Ha! You can just say it; my Spanish is shit. [ as are most of his attempts at anything other than english. ] I'm from Birmingham originally, but I've kind of been... all over.
[ all over quite literally meaning all over, but there are still lots of places he hasn't had the pleasure of touching down in yet. he's put down the occasional roots here and there, but only in the places he frequents. his apartments are even more empty than sasha's, half-filled with only essentials mostly. his personal possessions are divided between the apartments and clay's house and even the old family home, which is not always conventient, but it's how he's used to living. not only that, but it seems appropriate for the way he conducts his life, moving so quickly that sometimes it feels like he's in two places at once. ]
[ if the blush isn't noticed now, it will be noticed later; sasha is forever in a state of pinkness, varying in degrees between mildly pink and full on beetroot. his face is quick to flood with colour at the slightest shift in emotions. it suits anger, sadness, happiness, and all because somehow sasha wanders into his emotions with at least the slightest bit of embarrassment. it's just the way he is, deeply ingrained in his being.
either way, it remains, particularly in the wake of jens' smile.
sasha's name, comparatively, is childish. no one has ever called him alexander, not even his teachers. his family have always been too close to resort to anything but his sweet, soft sounding diminutive. it makes him feel like he's forever stuck as a little boy of twelve, not a man of twenty eight, and it shows, sometimes. his shyness is boyish, mercifully erring on the side of charming than frustrating, for the most part — he tries so hard not to let it hold him back. ]
I'm sure mine would be if I hadn't had to learn out of necessity. [ it's funny, because he's been told that in his spanish is where his accent becomes decidedly more russian, where is oddly transatlantic over his english. tongues are bizarre like that. all the same, his spanish is perfectly fluent, and instances of his accent being at all obvious usually only emerge when he's been drinking. ] All over sounds nice, though.
[ he means that. his voice softens again, tellingly, as he says it. sasha has been all over, but never for the sake of it. he remembers little of the many places he's been; his attention is always demanded between random work and his vast, shimmering family, their endless circles of friends. ]
[ jens' may notice the color of sasha's cheeks after he stares for a few long moments at his face, quietly puzzling out necessity. his first instinct is work because so many of people's decisions all come back to that universal obligation, but he's more inclined to think family. maybe he'd wanted to get away from the family home in russia, settle down somewhere else, alone. jens can understand that. less the settling down part, but more the spreading your wings part. his relationship with his parents isn't necessary bad, it's just... not particularly special, so the decision to get out and see the world wasn't really a decision at all. he'd started ditching birmingham for places like new york and mexico city at seventeen, and he wasn't about to revert back to dependent son when he was old enough to go and not come back. ]
I think I get it. [ which is either an invitation to explain or a reassurance that he doesn't have to say anything else; whatever sasha would prefer. the fond smile jens offers - because of the blush or because of the assumed similarities between them or both - is meant to make him feel more comfortable, but maybe the whole smiling thing only makes the tension worse. he can't really stop, though. ]
It is. [ and he means that, wholeheartedly. in fact, he momentarially forgets his soggy self and leans back into the cushions of the couch, eyes shifting from sasha and fixing on an indefinite point in the room, sifting through memories. sure, constantly moving has its inconveniences, especially when you don't bother with the kind of planning ahead that avoids situations like these, but he loves it. and he can't help but love these odd circumstances he lands himself in. they keep things interesting, keep him meeting interesting people. it's definitely not the kind of existence for everyone, but its suits him just fine.
his attention wanders back to sasha, and he nods his head slowly, appraising his own idea. ] You should try it. Maybe I could show you around London sometime. Or Moncton. Or Osaka?
[ honestly, sasha, take your pick. if... you'd be up for vacationing with a complete stranger, that is. ]
[ sasha's whole family always dreamed of being anywhere else but russia. ostensibly, that is why his parents moved him and his sisters to spain when he was so young. his youngest sister doesn't even have any recollections of russia; she was barely a few months old at the time. sasha and svetlana have a smattering of memories between them. most of them have something to do with snow and abominable cold, a window that creaked when assaulted by winter winds no matter how many times someone was called around to fix it. almost breaking his grandma's prized samovar in his excitement to see the flowers painted on it.
that said, they moved to a part of spain that heaved with russians already. it made very little difference, in the grand scheme of things, and even though sasha burns like paper in a fireplace when he's out in the sun, he doesn't miss the cold at all.
he loves his parents, sasha does. he loves his sisters, more so because they struggle so much to love each other. but every relationship is skewed and twisted into attempted shapes of what love should be like in families, not how it actually is. they're an imbalanced, strange bunch, with no concept amongst them of how to change or improve these things.
it doesn't matter what jens does or says now, sasha's blush is going nowhere. he would have been just as rosy faced if he wasn't bizarrely enjoying this late night, unexpected meeting, because blushing suits so many of his primary emotions. but the smile is appreciated, in the sense that it is one more handsome thing to add to the mental list that sasha doesn't even know he's keeping (yet). he laughs, softly and nervously, but his slightly suppressed smile gives away that he rather likes this suggestion. ]
Maybe you could. Do you consider yourself a good tour guide? I'm prone to something of a short attention span, you see. That's why I could probably still get lost on all my usual routes here.
[ his gaze flicks around the contours of jens' face. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2016-04-14 09:33 pm (UTC)he blushes. as it happens, he blushes almost constantly. if he isn't sunburnt, then he's blushing. there's always a reason to. his cheeks are perpetually rosy. these are the things he can give away, the surface details. that he is timid and easily flustered. harder to pick out are things like his love for holding hands, his general tactility. things he does not allow to be the forefront of his character, things that need to be dug out and discovered. not that any of these finer details matter, right now, though the cool of jens' palm is still a lingering presence against his own. he remembers touch like he remembers smells, colours, with perfect clarity. ]
You're more or less the only person who's ever said that. Most people just ask what kind of a name "Sasha" is for a man. [ he pauses, breathing in a little quickly. ] But — thank you.
[ for a moment, he's quite lost to the thought of a handsome stranger telling him that his name is pretty, before his brain kicks back into gear. ]
Uh, my computer. Just... here. [ and he flits away to a nearby coffee table, pulling his laptop open and punching in his password with the kind of speed that suggests his life depends on it. within moments he's by the window, a safe distance, gesturing limply at the laptop. ] All yours.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-15 12:07 am (UTC)the blush on sasha's cheeks feels like a success, and even if he knew that blushing is just second-nature for sasha, he'd probably still be patting himself on his back. it means he's done something right, and that's all he can hope for in a situation like this. the flirtation might have been a bit of a risk, but it seems to have gone over well. he'd hate to think he was getting under sasha's skin in a bad way. he's sweet, cautious, and jens has probably caused enough difficulty for him tonight.
still, he's not in a terrible rush to leave. ]
You're welcome. [ he laughs. ] What is it with people and getting bent out of shape about names? Everyone hates how mine is spelled. J-e-n-s. [ he offers a shrug, lips puckered in exaggerated frustration.
jens watches as sasha fiddles with the laptop, obviously hurried, then decides that he shouldn't be going anywhere in these boots. he bends and unties them, toeing them off and dropping them along with his bag next to the door. then he invites himself further into the apartment in socked feet that won't leave treads on the floor. he can't help but notice the way sasha retreats, and smiles to himself as he perches on the edge of the couch in front of the laptop. ]
Thanks. [ he pulls up the browser and googles a map. his eyes lift from the screen and find sasha again after a moment or two, sorry he feels he has to isolate himself, standing awkwardly in his own apartment. ] I'm terrible at accents, but you're not from Spain, are you?
no subject
Date: 2016-04-15 01:19 pm (UTC)I like interesting names, [ he breathes out softly, honestly and unthinkingly. ] Jens has a handsome sound to it.
[ well, it does. that nordic, european feeling of y sounds that are in fact spelt with a j. sasha is immediately glad for the low lighting of his apartment, because his blush deepens somewhat fiercely. he stands quite still, all his nervous energy locked up in his stuttering heart and his darting eyes, none of it translating to fidgets and squirms. he's the deer in headlights type; the kind that hopes his stillness will allow him to go unnoticed.
he tries not think about how his friends would kill him if they knew what he was doing right now, letting unknown people into his apartment and use his computer. he tries not to think about how his parents would kill him five times over for it, like he isn't an adult, like he isn't to be trusted with his own decisions. which, admittedly, perhaps he shouldn't be, all things considered. (his parents would kill him for a lot of things, really; like the way he can't stop looking at a stray strand of jens' hair and wishes he could reach out and tuck it away.) ]
The accent still gives it away. [ a soft, faraway laugh. his international school english always gives him away a bit, soft intonations of european mixed with american vowels. ] I've lived in Spain most of my life, but my family's Russian.
[ cautiously, but not without a ghost of a smile, ] What about you? I mean, Spanish wasn't quite your strong point over the intercom, if you don't mind my saying.
[ that and the name; jens. yens, with a j. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-04-16 09:59 pm (UTC)Glad someone likes it. Besides me. [ he flashes a white-toothed grin, pleased. he supposes his parents must have been fond of the name when they'd given it to him, but they'd scarcely been around to even call him by it. his grandfather was always grumbling it, its shape lost in his gummy mouth, and his brother was always dragging it out, long and high-pitched when he whined about teasing or sleep-talked. still, and perhaps a little surprisingly, jens likes it.
he's gotten the map to pinpoint their location, but his gaze is drawn from the screen again when sasha laughs, eyes going soft. he almost sounds disenchanted by the realization. ] Russian. Right. [ he taps a finger against his temple. he probably should have known that. ]
Ha! You can just say it; my Spanish is shit. [ as are most of his attempts at anything other than english. ] I'm from Birmingham originally, but I've kind of been... all over.
[ all over quite literally meaning all over, but there are still lots of places he hasn't had the pleasure of touching down in yet. he's put down the occasional roots here and there, but only in the places he frequents. his apartments are even more empty than sasha's, half-filled with only essentials mostly. his personal possessions are divided between the apartments and clay's house and even the old family home, which is not always conventient, but it's how he's used to living. not only that, but it seems appropriate for the way he conducts his life, moving so quickly that sometimes it feels like he's in two places at once. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-04-23 07:34 pm (UTC)either way, it remains, particularly in the wake of jens' smile.
sasha's name, comparatively, is childish. no one has ever called him alexander, not even his teachers. his family have always been too close to resort to anything but his sweet, soft sounding diminutive. it makes him feel like he's forever stuck as a little boy of twelve, not a man of twenty eight, and it shows, sometimes. his shyness is boyish, mercifully erring on the side of charming than frustrating, for the most part — he tries so hard not to let it hold him back. ]
I'm sure mine would be if I hadn't had to learn out of necessity. [ it's funny, because he's been told that in his spanish is where his accent becomes decidedly more russian, where is oddly transatlantic over his english. tongues are bizarre like that. all the same, his spanish is perfectly fluent, and instances of his accent being at all obvious usually only emerge when he's been drinking. ] All over sounds nice, though.
[ he means that. his voice softens again, tellingly, as he says it. sasha has been all over, but never for the sake of it. he remembers little of the many places he's been; his attention is always demanded between random work and his vast, shimmering family, their endless circles of friends. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-04-26 02:54 pm (UTC)I think I get it. [ which is either an invitation to explain or a reassurance that he doesn't have to say anything else; whatever sasha would prefer. the fond smile jens offers - because of the blush or because of the assumed similarities between them or both - is meant to make him feel more comfortable, but maybe the whole smiling thing only makes the tension worse. he can't really stop, though. ]
It is. [ and he means that, wholeheartedly. in fact, he momentarially forgets his soggy self and leans back into the cushions of the couch, eyes shifting from sasha and fixing on an indefinite point in the room, sifting through memories. sure, constantly moving has its inconveniences, especially when you don't bother with the kind of planning ahead that avoids situations like these, but he loves it. and he can't help but love these odd circumstances he lands himself in. they keep things interesting, keep him meeting interesting people. it's definitely not the kind of existence for everyone, but its suits him just fine.
his attention wanders back to sasha, and he nods his head slowly, appraising his own idea. ] You should try it. Maybe I could show you around London sometime. Or Moncton. Or Osaka?
[ honestly, sasha, take your pick. if... you'd be up for vacationing with a complete stranger, that is. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-05-04 08:06 pm (UTC)that said, they moved to a part of spain that heaved with russians already. it made very little difference, in the grand scheme of things, and even though sasha burns like paper in a fireplace when he's out in the sun, he doesn't miss the cold at all.
he loves his parents, sasha does. he loves his sisters, more so because they struggle so much to love each other. but every relationship is skewed and twisted into attempted shapes of what love should be like in families, not how it actually is. they're an imbalanced, strange bunch, with no concept amongst them of how to change or improve these things.
it doesn't matter what jens does or says now, sasha's blush is going nowhere. he would have been just as rosy faced if he wasn't bizarrely enjoying this late night, unexpected meeting, because blushing suits so many of his primary emotions. but the smile is appreciated, in the sense that it is one more handsome thing to add to the mental list that sasha doesn't even know he's keeping (yet). he laughs, softly and nervously, but his slightly suppressed smile gives away that he rather likes this suggestion. ]
Maybe you could. Do you consider yourself a good tour guide? I'm prone to something of a short attention span, you see. That's why I could probably still get lost on all my usual routes here.
[ his gaze flicks around the contours of jens' face. ]
Easily distracted.